JUBILEE TERRACE..Yorky visits his dad

GEORGE MI DAD

"Hello George", said an elderly woman who passed us on the street. "Who's the young lad with ya? " "That's mi lad. He's come to visit me from Australia."

"Who's that?" I asked mi dad as we walked away?" "She's one of mi new neighbours, lad. She's only been here 6 years. She's a nosy old cow too. She'll go and tell the whole bloody neighborhood now that mi son's come home. I'll probably be on the 7 O'clock news tomorrow night!"

"She seems to like ya Dad."

"Bolox! All she's after is mi bloody pension and someone to do her fetchin' and carryin'. Her old man died a couple of years back and now she's lookin' for another bloody mug. It won't be old George Swindells, I can tell ya that for nought!"

Once we got to the bus stop we walked around in circles, stamping our feet on the ground to warm 'em up.

"Look out lad, here comes our bus. Stick ya hand out or he won't stop..he's in too much of a bloody hurry."

     It was an enjoyable bus ride with mi dad. He even came upstairs with me so I could have a fag. The upper deck was almost empty so he had no complaints about the smoke. It didn't take long before the bus came to a squeaking halt at Sowerby Bridge and pretty soon mi dad and I were walking through the front door of West End Club.

"Evening George." said the club doorman. "It's gonna be a bitter cold night. It's just as well we've got the heat cranked up. Are you a member young fella?"

Before I could answer, mi dad said, "Is he buggery Jack, this is my lad. He's just come over from Australia for a holiday. I'll sign him in."

     Once I was signed in, the doors of the club were open to me so we went inside and ordered 2 pints of Websters Best, then found ourselves a table for the evening. It was about 7 O'clock and the club was empty except for a couple of bar flies who had resigned themselves to seats so as to make it through the evening.

"It's a bit of a dead place, isn't it Dad?"

"It's only 7..they don't start comin' in until 7:30. By 8, ya won't see an empty seat in this place. At 8:15 there's an act on so it's bound to fill up."

"What kind of an act is on tonight?"

"Oh, some bloody comedian-singer. I saw his poster as we came in. His name's Eddy Mac or something of the other."

"Is he any good?"

"Buggered if I know lad. I haven't heard him before, but if he's ought like the other buggers we'd may as well not have him. There's mi old mate Gavin comin'. His old lady must have let him off the leash early tonight."

"Evening George lad. How are ya?"

"Same as always Gavin. How would you expect me to be?"

"Just askin' George. Ya know my old backs' been playing up something terrible this week."

"Suppose you've been diddlin' that old wench of yours again, have ya?"

"Don't be silly George, it's probably healed up as far as I know."

"So you say Gavin. If ya not getting ought, how come she's still pushing ya around?"

"That's just her way George. I'm used to that by now. I've been married to her for 40 years."

"That's 39 years too bloody long Gavin. Go and get yourself a pint and come and sit ya self down before ya fall down."

"I take it that's one of ya drinking mates Dad?"

"I'y, I've known him for years lad. He's mi drinkin' mate when he's allowed out and when he's not down at the club, he's a bloody house-wife for that wench of his."

Gavin came back over and sat down at our table. He took a mouthful out of his pint and went. "Haaaa! So who's the young bloke ya with George? Aren't ya gonna introduce us?"

"Who the hell does he look like Gavin? Have a good bloody look?"

"He looks a lot like you George, now I take a bit more notice."

"Course he looks like me. He's mi son!"

"I thought your lad was in Australia, George?"

"He was. Now he's here. He's come over to see me. His name's Richard."

"My name's Gavin, good to meet ya Dick. So you're Georges' lad eh?"

"You're a bit more handsome than ya Dad, far as I can tell."

"Bolox Gavin!" said mi Dad. "If he looks as good as me when he's 75, he'll be doin' all right, but if he keeps smoking those bloody fags like they're going out of fashion, he might not see 24, never mind 75?"

"Don't listen to him Dick. I've known ya dad for 40 bloody years. He was just the same as you when he was a young'un. He smoked like a bloody chimney."

"That's when I was young and bloody stupid Gavin, just like him."

"Where's ya old girlfriends George, haven't they shown up yet?"

"Girlfriends mi bloody arse Gavin. They come and sit at my table uninvited. What the hell am I supposed to say, Piss Off!"

"Oh no George, they'd never buy ya another beer again if ya said that."

"I suppose a man should. They're always trying to get a bloody foot in my front door."

"Maybe it would be good for ya George."

"Bolox Gavin! Ya think I want to end up like you, on a bloody chain. Ya must be jokin' man."

Just then, two old ladies with curled and dyed hair walked over to the table.

"Evening George, hello Gavin. Ya saved our places I see."

"We saved nothin'. The club put 'em there. We just didn't bother to shift 'em." said Dad.

"George", said the big fat one, "We know you better than that. Who's the young fella anyway?"

"It's mi lad. Ya can keep ya eyes off him too, Neither of us are available."

"My names Maude and this is my pal Gert. Ya father's full of jokes ya know. He couldn't do without us really."

"Don't bloody bet on it or you'll lose ya pension money." said George.

"Gavin, go and get us 2 half-pints please.", said Maude.

"Tell 'em to fetch their own beer Gavin. Ya only get one night out as it is." said George.

"Oh it's all right George, I don't mind."

"Please ya sen then. Bigger bloody fool you!"

"You're grumpy tonight George. Did ya lose on the races?" said Gert.

"Well, I didn't win, put it that way."

     So that's how I spent that first evening with mi Dad. He seemed to be quite happy having a few beers with people his own age that obviously adored him. Once the club closed down for the night, I walked mi Dad down to the bus stop and made sure he caught his last bus home to Jubilee Terrace.

INNGS FARM

THE MATCHBOX WITCH

"Richard, Richard!" mi mum yelled.

"What?"I sez.

"Don't what me! Go down field to old Mrs. Wheelers' house and get me a carton of matches.

"What!" I said in horror.

"You heard me. I'm out of matches. Go down to old ladies house and get me some matches. Here's a shilling and mind you don't lose it on the way."

"I'm not going down there to her house, she's a witch!"

"Don't be bloody daft. There's no such thing as witches."

"There is mum. I've been reading about them in history books at school. They turn little boys into toadstools and little girls into frogs!"

"You daft bugger. Sometimes I'm sorry you learned to read. You're supposed to be getting more brains, not less."

Just then mi dad adds his two penneth, "If brains were gunpowder he wouldn't have enough to blow his hat off!"

"Here's the money. Now go and do as you're told.'

There was no getting out of it now so I begrudgingly took the shilling from mi mums hand.

I wasn't fond of having two sisters. A brother would have been much better to my way of thinking. Sometimes though, they came in handy on occasions such as these.

Off to find mi sisters.

"Hey Sheila." I sez. "Do you want to come for a walk?"

"Where to?"

"Oh, not far. Just down the field to Mrs. Wheelers house."

"Don't be daft! She's a witch. She'll eat me!"

Now I wish I hadn't teased them about Mrs. Wheeler coming in the dead of night to grab them from their beds. After pleading, emotional blackmail and every other ploy I could think of, she wasn't having a bar of it.

"No, I'm scared!" was her final answer.

I set off on the most dreaded journey of my young life.

'I'll never make it. She'll put me in the big cooking pot she keeps on her stove. Then, she'll eat me all up and no one will know. No more fun and games. I know, Dinah! Dinah, at least she'll come with me.

"Come on Dinah, let's go."

Off we go. At least Dinah loves me. Down the field we go, along the wallside to the far end of field, through snicket to a row of cottages. There were three cottages in all. Mrs. Matlocks' was on one end, an empty one in middle and old Mrs. Wheelers' place was on the end. The dark end! I had only to walk along the end side of her building now. It was a narrow walkway made of flagstones with a tall black-stone wall running alongside it.

'No escape there,'I thought.'Too high.'

On 'tuther side was a muck-middin. (a muck-middin is where the farmer piles up the cow dung when he shovels out his cow sheds.) Nine or ten feet deep of cow clap. No way out there.

Creeping along the narrow pathway I sez, "Come on Dinah, stay close."

Dinah sits down on the path and looks at me. "Let's go, come on, theres now't to be scared of!"

She lays down and looks up at me. "Come on Dinah, don't be daft. She won't eat ya. She doesn't like dogs, they're too tough."

Dinah wasn't budging. She also refused to be pulled.

'This is it. I'm on mi own now.' I thought.

Around the corner of her house I creep, not hardly breathing. Mi heart was banging so loud it was deafening me. The front door was half open so I tried to sneak a look around the door jam. It was no use. There was a thick, long black curtain blocking my view. 'Only one thing left to do now.'I thought.

I knocked on the open door very quietly, hoping she wouldn't hear me. No answer. The thought flashed across mi mind. 'Leave now while you still can!' I considered it but I knew mi mum would give me a clout, call me stupid and send me back. (I'd done that once before.) I knocked a bit louder. No answer. There was only once course of action left open. I called out to her in my most feeble voice, "Mrs. Wheeler?" No answer. I made one step forward, took a big swallow and called again, "Mrs. Wheeler?" Nothing. Maybe I'm lucky and she's gone out or better still, maybe she's dead!" I decided to make one last shout as loud as I could.

"Mrs. Wheeler?"

"Who is it?" The reply came.

'Oh no! She's home!' I swallowed hard, "It's me, Richard."

"Come inside." She said.

'Oh God! Please no! Now I'm really done for.'

"Come inside." came the reply again.

This time my throat was so dry I couldn't swallow at all. Slowly, I reached out to touch the curtain. It was made of thick, black velvet and smelled funny. I grabbed the side nearest the far wall and pulled it back a couple of inches. Next, I peered behind the curtain with mi left eye. To my surprise, I couldn't see a thing! It was pitch dark.

"Mrs. Wheeler?" I said, not as loud this time.

Her voice came back, "Come in Richard. I'm not feeling too well today."

I pulled the black curtain to one side and stepped through it. When I let it go it closed behind me. It was dark so I stood there for, what seemed like, hours. Not a sound. I was starting to see different shades of black now. I walked slowly forwards, my left hand tracing the old plastered wall. The smell was getting thicker now as I neared, what looked like, an open doorway with no door.

When I reached the doorway it was not quite as dark and I could see into her room. At the far end was an open door leading into kitchen. The curtains were drawn across the window. this window must have looked out onto our filed. To the side of kitchen door was a huge cabinet with cups and saucers on the top shelves. In the middle of the cabinet was a shelf with a porcelain vase on it and an old radio. down below were two large cupboards. On the joining wall was a fireplace with a dull fire going and a massive big cauldron pot. Steam was coming out of the top.

Just then, a voice said,"Come in lad. What do you want?" As my head jerked around, almost off its hinges, I saw her! There she was, in a long black dress done up to the neck. She was lying on an old brass poster bed, propped up on two white-looking pillows.

"What d'ya want lad? I'm not feeling well today."

I heard this squeaky voice say, "Mi mum sent me for a carton of matches."

"Go over to that kitchen cabinet. You'll find 'em in that bottom right-hand cabinet."

Oh no! This meant I had to turn my back on her! I was frozen with fear now.

"Go on." She sez."Hurry up lad!"

I slowly turned towards the cabinet and may way over to the cupboard. Slowly, I bent towards the cupboard door. My little fist was aching from squeezing the shilling. I reached out to touch the door handle. Just then, a black cat with green eyes run out from under kitchen cabinet! I had my first heart attack, on the spot! I'd already imagined her coming towards me with the meat chopper in her hand as my back was turned.

"AHHHHHH!" I let out a yell and spun around. To my surprise, she was still laid on bed. She was smiling at me as she said, "It's only my cat Tommy. He won't hurt ya."

I turned around quickly, pulling the door open. Inside there were lots of cartons of matches. I grabbed the first box, then closed the door and spun around fast as I could.

"How's ya mum getting on?" She said.

"Good, thank you."

She must have seen my clenched fist squeezing the shilling, so she sez "Leave money on top of cupboard, lad."

I reached out and put shilling on top of cupboard. Mi hand was so sweaty the shilling was stuck to mi palm. I had to put matches under mi arm to remove shilling from mi hand.

"Run along then." She said. "I'm tired now."

I didn't need any encouragement at all, as I headed for the doorway. I hit the passage at full speed, matches in hand. Straight through the black curtain I went, not bothering to part it from the wall.

As I hit daylight, Dinah was waiting for me. "Come on Dinah, we're off!" Down the passage way, round corner, along wall and straight up our field. Neck and neck we ran, Dinah and me, crashing through our farm-house door and into front room, Dinah still barking.

"What's up with you?" mi mum sez. "Can't you ever walk? Do you have to run everywhere, even in house?"

Mum looked down at Dinah and said, "What's he been up to Dinah? More mischief as usual?" Dinah never said a word. She just wagged her tail.

When I saw mi sisters, they said, "What happened Richard?"

"Now't, I wasn't scared a bit!"

From that time on I never teased them about the Matchbox Witch again. I could always think of some't else to tease 'em with!

DICK LAD THE DENTIST

Mi sister Sandra sez to me, "My tooths sore Richard and it's loose as well, but it won't come out."

"Which one is it?"

"This one at front."

"Let me have a look"

"No, you'll hurt it."

"I promise I wont. I just want to see it."

She opened her mouth to show me and I sez, "Which one is it?" She touched the one that was loose and I saw it wiggle.

"Pull it out.", I sez

"No, it's sore."

"Don't be a big baby."

(She must have been all of 4 - 1/2 years by then)

"I'm not a big baby, I'm grown up now."

"Then let me pull it out for ya."

"How ya gonna do it?"

"I'll get mi dads' pliers, that'll get it out fast."

"All right.", she sez, timidly.

When she saw me coming with mi dads' big rusty pliers she started crying again.

"Don't be a softy! It won't hurt a bit."

That made her cry even more. It also made her jump up and down in one spot. I knew she wasn't going to agree to this game so I had to use mi head and come up with something a bit more creative and less scary.

By this time I'd made up mi mind, 'that tooth is coming out somehow!' Now another brain wave.

"I know what we'll do and it won't hurt a bit."

"What?"

I went into mi mums' sewing box and got out a bobbin of black cotton and put a slip knot in one end and tied 'tuther end to kitchen door.

"Is it going to hurt?", she sez

"No, I won't feel a thing.", I sez to her.

"Alright but if it hurts, you're not doing it!"

"Look here, you look in mums big mirror and put this slip knot over your loose tooth and when you've done that, I'll tie 'tuther end to kitchen door knob."

After that part of the operation was done I said to her, "Now you stand here and I'll push door open."

She was standing there looking at the door with her eyes wide open. Fear was all over her face.

"Don't look. Close your eyes and you won't feel a thing. It'll be out before you know it."

Soon as she closed her eyes, I opened kitchen door with a 'whoosh!' She gave a yelp and started to cry. When I examined the end of mi mums' cotton I found no tooth. The cotton had snapped right in the middle.

"You hurt me! I'm going to tell our mum on you when she gets home."

"Don't be a softie. I got another brain wave coming up."

After a lot of persuasion, by reminding her of all the sweets she could buy with the tanner (a sixpence...a nickle) from the fairies, she agreed to to my next brain wave. I went into the feed bins and I found some good strong string. It was thin enough to go around the tooth and strong enough not to break. 'This time.", I thought.

I knew she wouldn't agree to another go after this one so this one had to be it.

"Come over here and sit in mi dads' chair. Now, you put this slip knot over your front tooth, alright?"

She agreed. So far so good.

"What you gonna do with the other end? You're not going to tie it to kitchen door again?"

"No I got a better idea now. I'll make Dinah sit in front of you and we'll tie 'tuther end around her neck."

"Will it hurt?"

"Not a bit and Dinah will get to help. She'll have some fun too."

I called Dinah over. Over she came, wagging her tail, always willing to please she was.

"Now Dinah, you sit down here. That's a good girl."

After she sat down with her back to mi sister, I tied 'tuther end of string around her neck. Everything was all set.

"Now, listen to me Sandra. You hang on to arms of mi dads' chair and don't let go."

"Don't hurt me Richard or I'll tell mum on you!"

"Don't worry Sandra, you won't feel a thing. Alright Dinah, you stay there and don't move till I tell you."

Dinah was a well-trained dog and she loved being part of our games. Next, I slowly walked backwards till I reached the back wall.

"Come here Dinah, look what I got you lass!"

Dinah bounds forward. I showed her a dog biscuit. She loved 'em.

'PING!' out came tooth.

"Done it!", I yells with glee and pride.

"WAHHHHHHH!", goes mi sister as blood starts to trickle down her lip. "You said it wouldn't hurt. You promised it wouldn't hurt!"

"Well, It's out now. It won't hurt anymore."

The tooth was hanging by a bit 'a skin sticking out over the bottom of her lip. It was so loose she pulled it out her 'sen. From then on she didn't need my help.

Dinah was sat right in front of me waiting for her biscuit.

When mi mum got home and saw mi sister with a gap in her bottom teeth she asked what happened. After she heard the story from mi other sister, she gave me one of her looks, muttered under her breath and said to Sandra, "Bigger bloody fool you!"

That night the fairies came to get the tooth from under her pillow in exchange for a tanner.

RATS TO YA

One morning mi dad wasn't around so I went looking for him. I found him in the small room next to a big old brewers barrel and I said,

"what ya' up to dad?"

"Now't."

"What's in the barrel?"

"Rats!"

"ey Dad, what ya gonna do with rats?"

"Watch and you'll find out."

Just then I 'erd this squeekin' noise and loud bangin' around in the barrel. He must have been a mind-reader 'cause right when I was gonna' reach out and take the lid off of the barrel, I 'erd mi Dad say,"And don't take the lid off that barrel. Just wait and watch."

I did. I waited for ages and ages and now't appeared. I was thinking of taking lid off 'a barrel but I dare'nt. So, I left and found summat else to amuse misen with.

That night, I couldn't get them rats out of mi 'ed. Next morning, when I got up, first thing I went into barn. Mi dad was looking in barrel and when he saw mi coming he put lid back on.

"What's up in barrel, Dad?"

"Now't and keep ya nose out 'a barrel!"

"Ya must be doing summat, Dad?"

"Am doin' now't, wait and see."

The barrel was very quiet. No noise. I was gonna' sit on barrel lid but I was a bit scared so instead I grabbed the milking stool and sat there with mi elbows on mi knees and mi 'ed in mi 'ands watchin'. All of a sudden they started squeekin'. It made me jump so much I nearly fell off 'a stool. I walked around barrel to see if I could peek through any of the cracks in the barrel but they were all too narrow,

This went on for what seemed weeks to me. Everyday, I'd go and sit in front of barrel and everyday they'd squeek. One day, I was sitting in front of barrel and mi dad come into barn.

"ey Dad, there's no sqeeking comin' out a' barrel today."

"Good, that's what I've bin waitin' for."

He goes up to barrel and lifts lid up a little bit and peeks inside."

I sez to him, "Why aren't rats squeekin' any more?"

"They're all gone except one."

"Where they all gone? They couldn't 'ave gotten out a' barrel." (Just in case he thought I looked inside and they all got out 'cept one.)

"Ya' want to look inside barrel?"

"Yeh!" even though I was a bit more scared by now.

"Come over 'ear and be careful."

He lifts lid on barrel and shines 'is torch inside. I looked in barrel and it made mi jump! Mi heart was banging away. In bottom of barrel I saw this great big, fat brown rat. He was as big as mi cat 'Meatmeat." He had these big black eyes that were staring at me. My heart was banging even louder now!.

"Where are all the other rats gone? How'd they get out a' barrel?"

"They didn't get out boy. That one in there ate 'em all."

"Why'd he eat 'em all?"

"Cause he was hungry. He ate the weakest ones till they were all gone."

"But why'd he do that?"

" 'Cause now he's tasted rat meat. He likes it and he won't go and eat me week-old chicks."

Mi dad picked up barrel then with the lid on, so I followed him into barn where all hens were. He took barrel over to corner of barn and said, "Stand back!" I watched him tip barrel over and then this big, brown rat run out a' barrel and across floor and straight for the light shining under the big barn door.

"Dad! He's runnin' away! What now?"

"He'll be back. He's a cannibal rat now. He'll come back and attack all the smaller rats in barn soon as he gets hungry."

After that I looked for him every day but I never saw him for a long time.

One day, I sez to mi dad,"eh dad maybe the cannibal rat run away for good?"

"No, he's still living around barn somewhere."

"How d'ya know he is dad?"

" 'Cause there's hardly any rats livin' in barn now and I haven't found any half-eaten chicks for weeks."

BULLYING EXCERPT ~ SPORTS DAY (14 YEARS OLD IN 1963)

    After the school sports day was all over and all the dignitaries and parents had gone home, the school detentionees were left to clean up the mess and bring all the folding chairs and tables back to the school yards so they could be loaded into vans,
     About an hour of fetching and carrying chairs I was just about sick of it. there was only about a dozen chairs left. I did not feel like walking all the way across the sports field to get them. Just then, I spotted a  boy who was struggling to carry 4 folding chairs the remaining distance across the field so I went over to him and said,
"Give me 2 of your chairs and I'll carry them for you."
"Fuck you, go and get your own.", he said.
"I've already carried more than you have.", I said. "And I'm not walking all the way over there again." 
     I took two of his chairs off of him and started to carry them the rest of the way. The boy got really angry and threw his 2 chairs on the ground.,
"Fuck you Swindells!", he said. "I'm going to tell Mr. Clayton on you!"
     He ran off and that was the last I expected to see of him. I carried the2 chairs over to the stack and then went back to pick up the 2 chairs the boy had thrown down on the sports field.
     As I was carrying the 2 last chairs back to the yard, I saw the boy and Mr. Clayton coming across the field towards me. Between myself and Mr. Clayton was a small group of teachers who were still standing around and discussing what a great day it had been. I met up with Mr. Clayton right next to the group of teachers. As I approached him he said to me,
"Swindells!"
"Yes sir.", I said.
"You took 2 chairs off of one of my Form boys."
"Yes sir. There weren't any more chairs to carry."
"Why didn't you look for some more chairs Swindells."
"I already told you sir, there are no more chairs to carry except these ones."
     The next thing I remember was a tremendous bang! I flew through the air backwards and then everything went totally black. I had no idea whatsoever what hit me or how long I was laying on mi back on the school sports field. The only thing I remember was when I was coming back into consciousness, my head was in tremendous pain. As I tried to open my eyes and sit up, the small group of teachers were spinning around and around and their faces were all blurred. The body felt like it was 500 pounds. My elbows just gave way and I fell backwards again.
     I remembered 2 of the teachers who were in the small group had put their arms around me and were trying to sit me up.
"Are you alright Swindells?" said one of them.
     My eyesight was very blurry and I still felt Like I was floating in fluid. A minute or so later I heard one of the female teachers say,
"How could you do that Mr. Clayton?"
     Then another teacher said,
"Mr. Clayton, indeed, hitting a boy so hard!"
     That was all I needed to hear.

BULLYING EXCERPTS ~ BIBLE STUDY AT STONE SCHOOL ~ (6 years)

"Open the bible up at the beginning and start to read Genesis and read it quietly to yourselves.", said Mr. Graham, the Head Master. "I'm going out for a few minutes and then I'll be back and ask questions on what you've read."

     It was the most boring book I had ever read. All anyone seemed to do was BEGAT! Abraham begat this wife who in turn begat a son who grew up and begat a wife. After a bit more 'begating' they they in turn begat a daughter who in turn grew up to begat a husband that  begat 3 sons who begat 10 children who begat and begat and begat!

     Just then I begat a great idea. I noticed that if I opened the book right in the middle and slammed it together real fast it made an incredible deep popping sound. Now bible study was taking on a new dimension!

     In the beginning God created sound...BANG!  I'd slam the pages shut. I started making an experiment with music. According to the speed and pressure I slammed the pages together, the bible made different popping vibrations. Then, I discovered that by opening it off center, it made a different sort of vibration. I told my friend in the seat next to me what I'd discovered but he wasn't interested. He was more interested in 'begating'.

     Next, I discovered that the bible was a very powerful book. It could actually fly! I put the bible on the edge of the desk, right in the middle so the  balance was perfect. Once this was done I moved my chair back into position so I had plenty of room. Then, I brought my fist crashing down on the end overhanging the desk. WHALLOP! The bible shot up in the air spinning around as it went. After a few good whallops this way, I discovered that if I put the bible off center, meaning  more on the desk-side and then gave it another good whallop it flew even higher in the air and spun around faster.

     Now, the hard part was yet to be worked out. How to catch the bible with one hand. Depending on how hard I hit it and how much overhang I gave it depended on how many times it would spin around in mid air.

     I'd worked out how to catch it with 2 hands then with just the right hand. I was still trying to master the left-hand when Mr. Graham walked back into the room from behind me. He obviously had been standing behind me for some time watching me. As he passed my desk, he said to me,

"That's very clever Swindells. How long did it take you to work that out?"

"Not long Sir.", I sez. "See, it depends on the overhang and how hard..."

"Don't bother explaining it to me. I can see for myself. Oh, by the way, go into my drawer and get my size 11 pump shoe for me would you?"

"Yes Sir!", I sez. 'This is going to be fun', I thought. 'Somebody must be going to get his size 11 right across the backside. That's probably why he went out of the room. Somebody in one of the other classes must have been cheeky to a teacher or something.
     He kept  his size 11 Pump in the bottom of his right-hand drawer. I opened the drawer and pulled it out. It was massive and very flexible. It was white and the laces had been removed.
'Whoever wore this must have had big feet.', I thought.
     I closed the drawer and ran back over to him. Handing it to him with a smile I said,
"Here's you are sir. Your shoe. Is someone going to get it Sir?"
"Yes they are.", he sez. "Come with me a minute."
'Oh good.', I thought. 'He's going to let me watch. This will be great fun.'
     As we passed a big black table that had been pushed against the side wall, he turned to me and said,
"Bend over that table boy!"
     I couldn't believe my ears so I said to him,
"Who me Sir?"
"Yes, you boy! Now bend over and don't get up until I tell you!"
     The smile on my face was now gone. it had  been replaced by the shock of realization that he was not joking.
"Come on, hurry up boy. Bend over!"
     There was no choice. I laid across the table waiting in the totally silent room. The first thing I heard was this loud 'whacking' sound. The next thing I felt was an incredible burning, stinging pain across the back of my bum.
'Oh shit! That hurt!', I thought.
     There was a gap of about 4 seconds and then 'BANG'. I felt the same sensation and heard the same sound only this time it felt worse as my bum was still stinging from the first one. It seemed like he was never going to stop. After six whacks with that size 11 shoe, I couldn't stand still. My body was shaking  and my hands were trembling. After 3 more whacks, I'd already made up my mind not to cry and let him see he'd hurt me. As I stood up and looked in his face, he had a grin on his lips. Then he said,
"Now go and sit at your desk!"
     My mind was totally silent. I stood there looking into his eyes. Then I heard myself tell him with the voice of silence,
'One day Graham, you will be very sorry you did that. No matter where you go in this life I will find you. Then it will be my turn!'
     With that, I went back to my desk. The pain across the  back of my bum was unimaginable. As I tried to sit down on the chair, burning pains shot down the backs of my legs and up the center of my back.
     It took about one week before I could sit down without thinking about it. The bruising on mi bum took much longer to to. The scarring to my heart took 40 years to heal.

THE XMAS PARTY (5 Years old)

     As the days rolled along, I was getting very interested in school. I was fast at learning to read and write. I was also good adding, subtracting and tables. Looking back I would have said, I was having fun.
     Xmas time was upon us and the school headmaster, Mr. Graham, announced that we would be having a Xmas party for the last day of school. Mr. Graham said there would be lots of games and fun and the winners of the games would be given prizes.
     It was hard to wait for the great day to arrive. I told mi mum and she said,
"Better not to get your hopes too high for a prize in case you get disappointed."

    Finally, the day arrives. The last school day before the holidays. The party was due to start around 5 pm and would last till around 7 pm.  There was a tremendous amount of excitement in the air as all the kids were anxious for the party to start. Paper hats were given out to all the children. We had Xmas tea which consisted of cakes, jellies, biscuit, ice cream and sandwiches. What a great feast!
     Long tables were placed end to end fashion across one of the corners. Tins of chocolate biscuits, packets of sugar biscuits, baskets of fruit covered with see-though  cellophane paper. Baskets of grapes, apples, tangerines, pomegranates, pears, baskets of Mars bars, Kit Kats and Milky Ways.
     My eyes took in the whole scene! My family was not rich by any means and all that food and fruit would have looked right good in our house on Xmas morning. Right then and there, I made mi mind up I was going to win it all and take it home to mi mum and dad, although I hadn't worked out how to carry it all yet.
     There were so many games. Musical Chairs, Pass the Parcel, Circles. I discovered that if I concentrated on the piano man, I, somehow, knew exactly when he was going to stop playing. By the time the party and games were coming to an end, I'd won 90% of all the prizes. I was ecstatic.
     Next up came the Award time. The Head Master said,
"All those who won prizes, I'll call your name out and come and collect your prizes from the table. Richard Swindells, string bag of Tangerines."
     On it went until the table was empty, barring 4 or 5 prizes for school term work, he got sick of calling my name.
     Now, I thought, 'I'll give some to the piano player, some to poor kids, stack the rest in mi coat and tie the sleeves up and home go'!
NOT SO!

      Just then I heard Mr. Graham speak my name,
"That's too many prizes for one boy, therefore we've decided, that is the other teachers and myself, to take them all off you and leave you with 2 prizes. The rest we'll hand out to all the other kids as they're going out the door on their way home."
"That's not fair sir.", I said.
"Fair or  not, that's what we're doing Swindells."
     With that, he and the other teachers picked up all of the prizes except two. I watched all my prizes being handed out till the table was empty.
     When mi mum came to pick me up, she didn't believe me, so she said,
"Wait here and I'll go and have a word with them."
     When she got back she said,
"Well lad, there's now't I can do about it now so let's go home."
     On the way home, I had a good cry about it.
"It's not going to bring all the prizes back by crying about it." said mi mum.
     From that day on, I hated school and Mr. Graham. Overnight, Stones School had turned into a prison sentence and those teachers were now the enemy!

BULLYING EXCERPTS ~ JIM BAILEY - 13 years

     Jim Bailey was about 6'2" tall. He had a large barrel chest, a short back and sides haircut and weighed about 250 pounds. He was a man of around 58 years old when I first met him. Had I have met him under different circumstances I would have probably liked him much more. He had worked at Whitelys' for about 12 years when mi mum first met him and prior to that he was a Parade Sergeant Major in the Summerset Regiment. 27 years in the army so ever detail of his life was run  by the book. He had never been married before he met mi mum so he had never  been around 3 growing children before.  It was not in his nature to ask me to do something for him, it had been drilled into his nature to give orders and it was not in my nature to carry orders from anyone unless my heart told me it was alright.
     The first time he gave me one of his orders, in his Parade Sergeants voice, I said to him,
"Who the hell do you think you're ordering around? I am not one of your bloody little tin soldiers, neither are my sisters. I don't carry orders from you or any other bugger . There's only one who I carry orders for and you're not him."
     This little confrontation happened as we passed each other on the bedroom stairs. Without a word of warning he gave me a good right stiff arm with his fist and knocked me down the steps. When I picked miself up from the bottom of the stairs he was coming down the stairs towards me. Now I was really angry so I said to him,
"You are not my father and you never will be and one of these days I will be much more bigger than I am right now and when that day comes you will know I will get you for this and when I do you will be bloody sorry you did that cause I'll knock your bloody head off your big fat shoulders with one hit. You won't be so smart then. I'll teach you what happens when you punch kids like that!"
      With that, I took off out of the house just as mi mother was coming up the cellar stairs.
"What's all the shouting about?", she sez.
"Ask him!", I said. "He knows I'm not one of his bloody tin soldiers.", I said as I slammed the door behind me.
"Come back here!", sez mi mother as I headed off up the street.
"Get lost!", I said. "You're just as bad as he is.
 
     In those days, I was allowed to go out at night and play with mi new-found friends as long as I did the washing up and made the fire. If I didn't do those jobs, no going out for me. In the summer months Jim Baileys' rules were that I had to  be in at 9 O'Clock.
     One evening as I walked home from playing with mi pals, I got home at 1 minute past 9.
"What time do you call this lad?" he said as I walked in the door.
"9 O'clock", I sez, with a look of surprise on mi face.
"What time does that clock on the wall read"?, he sez.
"9 O'clock.", I sez. "Why"?
"Take another look and read it more carefully", He sez.
"Two minutes past nine". I sez.
"Right! 2 minutes past nine. That means you're late so tomorrow night you stay home. No going out for you!"
     I could not believe what I was hearing so I looked at mi mum who was sat knitting in her chair. She didn't look up, she just kept her head down and kept right on knitting.
"It's only 2 minutes past 9!", I said to her.
"Don't tell me, tell your father.", she said as she went on knitting.
     This made me really angry, so I said,
"He's not my father. He's your husband and nobody told me we were joining the army before we left mi dad!"
     That was it! She dropped the knitting, ran over to me and grabbed me by the arm and proceeded to smack mi bare legs as hard as she could with the wooden ruler she used for measuring the length of her knitting with.
"Get up those stairs to bed you cheeky little bugger!", she said. "And just for that, you won't move out of this house of a night time for the rest of the bloody week! Now get out out of my bloody sight you impudent little bleeder!"
     Meal times were now conducted in silence. I used to think mi dad was strict but he never had a patch on Jim Bailey.