Wednesday, March 26, 2008

RATS TO YA' ©

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One morning mi dad wasn't around so I went looking for him. I found him in the small room next to a big old brewers barrel and I said,
"what ya' up to dad?"
"Now't."
"What's in the barrel?"
"Rats!"
"ey Dad, what ya gonna do with rats?"
"Watch and you'll find out."

Just then I 'erd this squeekin' noise and loud bangin' around in the barrel. He must have been a mind-reader 'cause right when I was gonna' reach out and take the lid off of the barrel, I 'erd mi Dad say,"And don't take the lid off that barrel. Just wait and watch."

I did. I waited for ages and ages and now't appeared. I was thinking of taking lid off 'a barrel but I dare'nt. So, I left and found summat else to amuse misen with.

That night, I couldn't get them rats out of mi 'ed. Next morning, when I got up, first thing I went into barn. Mi dad was looking in barrel and when he saw mi coming he put lid back on.

"What's up in barrel, Dad?"
"Now't and keep ya nose out 'a barrel!"
"Ya must be doing summat, Dad?"
"Am doin' now't, wait and see."

The barrel was very quiet. No noise. I was gonna' sit on barrel lid but I was a bit scared so instead I grabbed the milking stool and sat there with mi elbows on mi knees and mi 'ed in mi 'ands watchin'. All of a sudden they started squeekin'. It made me jump so much I nearly fell off 'a stool. I walked around barrel to see if I could peek through any of the cracks in the barrel but they were all too narrow,

This went on for what seemed weeks to me. Everyday, I'd go and sit in front of barrel and everyday they'd squeek. One day, I was sitting in front of barrel and mi dad come into barn.

"ey Dad, there's no sqeeking comin' out a' barrel today."
"Good, that's what I've bin waitin' for."
He goes up to barrel and lifts lid up a little bit and peeks inside."
I sez to him, "Why aren't rats squeekin' any more?"
"They're all gone except one."
"Where they all gone? They couldn't 'ave gotten out a' barrel." (Just in case he thought I looked inside and they all got out 'cept one.)
"Ya' want to look inside barrel?"
"Yeh!" even though I was a bit more scared by now.
"Come over 'ear and be careful."

He lifts lid on barrel and shines 'is torch inside. I looked in barrel and it made mi jump! Mi heart was banging away. In bottom of barrel I saw this great big, fat brown rat. He was as big as mi cat 'meatmeat." He had these big black eyes that were staring at me. My heart was banging even louder now!.

"Where are all the other rats gone? How'd they get out a' barrel?"
"They didn't get out boy. That one in there ate 'em all."
"Why'd he eat 'em all?"
"Cause he was hungry. He ate the weakest ones till they were all gone."
"But why'd he do that?"
"Cause now he's tasted rat meat. He likes it and he won't go and eat me week-old chicks."

Mi dad picked up barrel then with the lid on, so I followed him into barn where all hens were. He took barrel over to corner of barn and said, "Stand back!" I watched him tip barrel over and then this big, brown rat run out a' barrel and across floor and straight for the light shining under the big barn door.

"Dad! He's runnin' away! What now?"
"He'll be back. He's a cannibal rat now. He'll come back and attack all the smaller rats in barn soon as he gets hungry."

After that I looked for him every day but I never saw him for a long time.
One day, I sez to mi dad,"eh dad maybe the cannibal rat run away for good?"
"No, he's still living around barn somewhere."
"How d'ya know he is dad?"
"Cause there's hardly any rats livin' in barn now and I haven't found any half-eaten chicks for weeks."

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